satire
Dec 31, 2021: Mountain Democrat: Dave Barry’s year in review, part 1: Wait, wasn’t 2021 supposed to be better than 2020?
Is there anything positive we can say about 2021?
Yes. We can say that it was marginally better than 2020.
Granted, this is not high praise. It’s like saying that somebody is marginally nicer than Hitler. But it’s something.
What was better about 2021? For one thing, people finally emerged from their isolated pandemic cocoons and started connecting with others. Granted, the vast majority of the people who connected with us this year wanted to discuss our car’s extended warranty. But still.
Is there anything positive we can say about 2021?
Yes. We can say that it was marginally better than 2020.
Granted, this is not high praise. It’s like saying that somebody is marginally nicer than Hitler. But it’s something.
What was better about 2021? For one thing, people finally emerged from their isolated pandemic cocoons and started connecting with others. Granted, the vast majority of the people who connected with us this year wanted to discuss our car’s extended warranty. But still.
| --Claire Wardle, executive director of First Draft |
Dec 7, 2021: Daily Collegian: Satire: These hockey hecklers need a lesson in creativity
Team sports: A quintessential part of the American experience. Whether it’s football, soccer, baseball or anything in between, we can all come together to watch grown men and women fight over a ball, or in winter, a puck. With winter right around the corner, hockey season is in full swing. In true American fashion, students at the University of Massachusetts find comfort in bonding over poorly heckling players.
Team sports: A quintessential part of the American experience. Whether it’s football, soccer, baseball or anything in between, we can all come together to watch grown men and women fight over a ball, or in winter, a puck. With winter right around the corner, hockey season is in full swing. In true American fashion, students at the University of Massachusetts find comfort in bonding over poorly heckling players.
| Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes.. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check. Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check. Finally Donald Trump, who had not finished his term, gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00. When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Trump got to call the USA so cheaply. The devil smiles and replies, " Since Trump took over , the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call." |
Sept 4, 2020: The Onion: ‘Tell The World I Also Had Asthma,’ Conservative Begs Doctor Before Dying Of Coronavirus
Insisting through coughs that he refused to let the physician politicize his death, local conservative man Paul Welles reportedly begged his doctor Friday to “tell the world I also had asthma” before dying of coronavirus. “Tell everyone who will listen that it wasn’t coronavirus that killed me—it was asthma, and high cholesterol, and blood pressure!” the dying Trump supporter reportedly told the hospital staff between gasps for breath, demanding that they write down his cause of death as heart failure or respiratory issues.
Insisting through coughs that he refused to let the physician politicize his death, local conservative man Paul Welles reportedly begged his doctor Friday to “tell the world I also had asthma” before dying of coronavirus. “Tell everyone who will listen that it wasn’t coronavirus that killed me—it was asthma, and high cholesterol, and blood pressure!” the dying Trump supporter reportedly told the hospital staff between gasps for breath, demanding that they write down his cause of death as heart failure or respiratory issues.
Sept 1, 2020: The Onion: Conspiracy Theorist Worried His Credibility Undermined By Trump Retweeting Him
Concerned his beliefs about a shadowy cabal of elites secretly ruling the world would not be taken seriously after they received the president’s endorsement, local man Brett Tisne expressed worry Tuesday that Donald Trump retweeting him would undermine his credibility as a conspiracy theorist
Concerned his beliefs about a shadowy cabal of elites secretly ruling the world would not be taken seriously after they received the president’s endorsement, local man Brett Tisne expressed worry Tuesday that Donald Trump retweeting him would undermine his credibility as a conspiracy theorist
Mar 7, 2016: Pirate Christian: Benny Hinn Waves Jacket at Hospital-Instantly Heals Everyone
In a display of great ingenuity and faith, Benny Hinn waived his jacket at a hospital yesterday and healed all of the patients inside.
In a display of great ingenuity and faith, Benny Hinn waived his jacket at a hospital yesterday and healed all of the patients inside.
